Albatross
by River's Dream
Summary: Once upon a time Mal admitted he had read a book. This is a take on how that book made such an impact on him.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer * I do not own Firefly*

"There ain't no gorram point." The young teen shouted angrily.

"The only foolish point here Malcolm Reynolds is arguing with your mother," an exasperated Grace Reynolds huffed, folding her arms across her chest, immovable, against her raging teenage son. "Also, you would do well to remember that if I don't allow the hands to use that type of language in my presence I certainly won't tolerate it out of you."

Malcolm hung his head. "I'm no use to no one sittin' here, readin' a bunch of useless words that make no sense. I should be out in the fields, helpin' the hands and pullin' my weight."

Looking around, Grace walked over to the front stairs on their cabin and sat down signaling to her son to sit beside her. Wearily, Malcolm sagged beside her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I can do actions, Ma. I ain't no good with words. They get all scrambled and such in my head. Takes too much work to put 'em straight."

Grace looked at her son shrewdly, "Hard work in your head can be equally valuable to hard work with your muscles, Malcolm. I know you look up the hands since your Pa passed on, but one day you may need to use your head to get you and, heaven help you if it does, others home to their Mama's in one piece. Fists can't solve everything."

"Can solve a whole bundle if you're good enough," Malcolm muttered under his breath.

Grace looked wearily at her son, he had his father's look and, unfortunately, just as ornery as his Pa had been. She wasn't the only mother who heard the rumours of war and worried for the future. Without some wisdom tempering the passion Malcolm kept so close to the surface, she wondered if she might not find herself burying another Reynolds man before his time.

"Ain't no point in readin' this luh suh anyhow. Ain't no one in the whole verse 'cept me that has this forced down their throats."

"That is because not everyone has access to poems from Earth that was, Malcolm Reynolds! You are lucky, young man, that our family has passed this down so that some bit of learning can be drilled into that thick skull. I don't care if the words cause you pain. The only thing foolish is to turn down the chance to learn, to grow as a person. "She looked down pointedly.

"Ma."

"Since you seem all-fired determined to keep that mouth moving, you can read your homework to me. I'll help you when you struggle son." Grace's face softened taking in her son's defeated posture. "We all need someone to carry us sometime Mal, ain't no shame in that. Only shame is not asking when it's there and you know you need it."

"Yes Ma'am. Can I least start where I left oft? Save us all a mite of time." he asked with an eager grin lightening his face.

"No, Malcolm, the extra practice will do you good." Grace answered slowly grabbing the broom off the steps beside her and rising to being sweeping the porch.

Sighing loudly, Malcolm dragged the beaten papers out of his bag and began to read.

"The Rime of the Ancyent Marinere . . ."


	2. Chapter 2

*Disclaimer – still don't own any part of the wonderful verse except the plot.*

Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds did not like what was before him.

More new faces could be seen peeking out from what had already been overcrowded, darkened corners, blood and dirt melding faces into the adjoining shadows. Though he couldn't see any, Mal knew without having to check in again that at least one or two of them wouldn't be getting up come morning.

Joining the Independents hadn't been only the right thing to do, it was supposed to be an adventure, a chance to see the verse and change it for the better. He was supposed to show his Mama he'd paid attention to all those lessons she'd forced him to sit through (although he'd never admit the forcin' was more for show in those last few years – a last honest chance to have his Mama fuss over him proper) before he had been joinin' the hands runnin' the ranch like he'd been born to do.

When the war started up every one of age and even a few who wasn't had signed up. Who could pass up a chance for the border planets to finally find some justice. He doubted there was an able bodied person between 16 and 30 willingly still on that rock they called home. Mal was no fool anymore, he knew more than a few of his pals had signed up for the chance to be a hero.

"Wonder how many of 'em are layin' cold out there right now" Mal muttered surveying the explosion marked landscape before him, more menacing in the almost twilight that had been created thanks to the Alliance barrage that continued late into the night once again.

No one was worryin' about bein' heroes or comin' back set for life anymore with their learnin', grand stories, and fabled war trophies. Smart soldiers now was more concerned with gettin' home at all. As far as Mal was concerned there weren't any stupid ones left.

Mal shook his head discouraged. What point was bein' a hero if there was nothin' and no one left for your heroics?

He hadn't heard nothin' from Shadow in weeks and was getting worried. Without his Ma and the ranch what did he have to keep him goin'? What would be left for him after all this?

He wasn't trained for this. He wasn't ready to command so many men who were convinced they wouldn't see morning when deep down he wasn't even all that convinced they would himself.

It's not like he had many superiors left either to instill his own self with hope. The stragglers who swelled their numbers weren't new recruits but survivors from regiments that had been decimated in earlier battles, some of which were still fought inside the soldiers own heads. They didn't have the resources for that, they didn't have the resources for healthy troops, backup was days away . . .

Mal felt the thoughts swirl over and through him when a voice cut through the storm in his head.

"Sarge? The men have noticed you all quiet and introspective, thought I should maybe come over here and let you know they find it a might worrisome."

"Thanks, Zoe." Mal replied ruefully.

"Anything worse than usual Sir?" his second in command asked, this time in earnest.

"I'm not exactly the inspirin' type Zoe. I'm a rush in guns blazin' type. I ain't no doctor, I ain't no preacher. I don't know how to give these boys what they need." Mal exhaled slowly before looking at his second.

"Maybe that's what the men need Sir, maybe they need to see someone willin' to keep fightin' despite the odds. Maybe they need to see someone with an uncanny ability to go in guns blazin' and have the head to walk back into our camp again. Maybe they need something to look up to and your school of thought seems to be all we've got left, so that's what we go with."

Mal looked at Zoe incredulously.

"I've become the gorram albatross." He muttered under his breath.

"Sir, I'm not sure I get your meanin'

"It's something I read . . . a lifetime ago. I'll tell you about it after, if me and that bird don't end up sharin' our same stories end."

"Whatever you say sir. I'm lookin' forward to gainin' some clarity when it comes to how things work inside that head of yours'

"Don't we all, don't we all."


	3. Chapter 3

*disclaimer – still own nothing but the plot*

* * *

"Prisoner 35719,it appears your release papers are in order."

"Yes sir," replied the worn and bitter voice of one Malcolm Reynolds.

"As, I'm sure you'll understand we have a few questions for you before we finalize your release from this facility," the officer on the other side of the table stated, refusing to look up from his forms and acknowledge the man in prison garb before him.

A surprising number of prisoners had been taken from the battle of Serenity Valley, surprising due to the utter destruction that had been present when the Independents had conceded and grudgingly laid down arms. Now that final surrender was documented, official, and the final leaders of the movement rounded up, the Alliance found themselves processing out the acquired prisoners of war back into society, border planets mind you not the civilized Core, after all, the citizens did need to make amends for their crimes of rallying against their leaders.

"It says in your file that you held the rank of Sargeant and were captured following your defeat at the Battle of Serenity Valley. Is that correct prisoner?"

"Yes." Mal ground out the word as though it pained him, and truth be told it did.

"It says in your file that a rehabilitation officer spoke with you regarding life after captivity. What are your plans following release. Obviously you can't go back to your rock of a homeworld," the second officer sneered at Reynolds.

"I aim to start a shipping business, nice and legal. Your rehabilitation officer passed on the necessary files to get started. We both felt a change of pace from bein' planet bound may suit my _restless personality_ , his words not mine." Mal repeated back looking at the ceiling. Just a few more minutes til freedom. . .

"I see," said the first officer again. "I note here that our superiors have already discussed your role within the Independents, they found you somewhat uncooperative during those sessions. I trust you've learned the error of being uncooperative since you are cleared for release?"

"Well then," the second officer said after a moment of silence. "Here is a bag containing personal effects which were obtained upon your arrival. There is a room to your left in which you may change out of your prison uniform. Following that, you will exit out through the door on the other side of the room where you will be led to the gates and released. Hopefully your time in our facility has allowed you to better understand the benefits of being a law abiding citizen and has correcting the false propaganda the Independents fed you while under their direction." Mal finally looked up at the officer only to notice a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Slowly Mal grabbed the bundle and headed off towards the aforementioned door.

* * *

Blinking furiously in the daylight Mal wondered what to do first. Sure, the rehabilitation officer had actually given him files but no real direction how to get started or even off the rock he was currently on.

"Need a lift sir?"

Mal's head shot up "Ain't a Sir anymore, but be mighty pleased for a ride away from this place. Good to see you Zoe."

Zoe smiled ,"Been out about two weeks sir." Zoe gestured for him to climb behind her on the bike she had acquired. "Higher your rank the longer they keep you. Any plans on where you're goin'"

Mal slumped into the seat behind her "Need to get a ship, got some connections to test out from before the war, my" Mal's voice broke slightly. "My Ma and I had some saved up, if they didn't take it all after the Alliance retaliated, it should be enough to help me get my feet under me."

"I got a little too sir, help us get goin' again."

"Us?" Mal looked at his former second wearily "Zoe, Just cause the Alliance done marked me a free man don't mean I'm free. Apparently we were somewhat of a nuisance and they ain't about to let that slide completely. I have no desire to find another piece of land. Land just means death. Life on the move .. ."

Zoe interrupted "Life on the move sounds near about perfect these days. Can't get rid of me that easy. Besides you need someone to keep your hairbrained schemes from gettin' you shot."

"I ain't sure if I got anythin' to offer Zoe. Honest, part of the appeal of a ship of flyin' off into the black and forgettin' everything that's happened."

"See and here I was all worried our adventured would be too cheerful" Zoe responded sarcastically. "We've all lost here Sir, you more than most, I've seen the holo's of Shadow, ain't nothin' going to make that right. Maybe if we cram enough battered up people on this boat of yours we'll get a whole person."

Zoe brought the bike to a halt and Mal looked around to realize they were at a little house.

"I have a friend here sir. They've agreed to let us stay for a spell and figure things out. There's a lot of ships headin' off world and even a few places near 'nough to pick out our own. In the meantime we get our bearin's and see if we can't find some of that luck that held you together through these last few years to get a new life goin'"

Mal looked soberly at Zoe. "Sounds like a workable plan, tell your friends we'll be out of their hair as soon as we rightly can but as for luck think we may have to rely on yours for awhile." Mal paused before muttering quietly "this albatross is done ain't nothin' can come back from this"

"You know sir, one day you will stop underestimating my ability to hear your ramblin's. I also wouldn't mind an explanation of what in the verse an albatross is either."

Mal gave a sad half smile "with the way my luck's been runnin', one day I might just as well end up tellin' you."


	4. Chapter 4

*Disclaimer – Still don't own Firefly*

"Boo."

Mal jumped at the sudden noise from above him. "Gorram it girl, didn't I tell your brother to attach bells or some other such noise maker on yourself." It always unnerved Mal just how quietly the young girl could soundlessly sneak up behind him, despite years of training on his part.

"You requested my brother attach a 'peck of noisesome creations' to me as of seven days ago Captain" River replied with a grin "but I talked him out of it." She lightly skipped down the steps into the loading bay where Mal had been checking on cargo moments earlier. They were due to make the drop in half an hour and Mal wanted to make sure they weren't cheated out of a single credit due to claims of damaged goods.

"And just how do you go about talkin' your brother, my doctor, out of a direct order from his Captain." Mal said in a huff, his nerves finding themselves settled once again.

"I pointed out that you merely thought you were giving a direct order Captain, you didn't realize you weren't able to agree with yourself when you gave the order. It would have caused you great confusion." River frowned "besides the idea of attaching music elements to a girl is an equally confusing equation. Is she still a girl after they've been attached or has the girl become lost. Would she be able to find herself again as an instrument or would she been gone, consumed by the music?" River looked up worriedly at Mal. "Is there an answer?"

"Now, now don't get yourself all-fired crazy, I was only making talk, something a Captain should be allowed some room to do on his own ship. Why exactly did you feel a burnin' need to creep all outta nowhere?"

River smiled "You worry too much Captain but it's about the wrong things." Her face turned serious, "You shouldn't deliver the cargo alone."

"Now look River," Mal answered in what he hoped was a calming voice, he did like the girl in her own way when she wasn't goin' completely moon-brained and disturbing business, something he very much didn't want this situation escalatin' into.

River's stance did not waver "they want to hurt you, they want to hurt Serenity. You must take them." River's head turned slightly as though towards a noise as her face shifted once again, this time to intense curiosity, as the young girl danced off into the ship chasing whatever had caught her fancy.

Mal was torn.

It was supposed to be an easy drop, reliable trade, just people who were a mite ornery about outsiders taintin' their land or some such. However, the girl had show an uncanny ability to see into the truth of things. His granny would have called it _the sight_ , no matter what he thought, in times like these he had to go with his gut.

Loading the last piece of cargo onto the sled Mal walked over to the intercom "Jayne, Zoe, suit up – we head out in 5."

Mal shook his head wearily as he sat on the bed, alone in the quiet of the med bay.

He should have known things would go south. Things always went south; it was just his lot in the verse that every person he met in the entire verse was goin' to want to shoot him it seemed.

If it hadn't been for Zoe and Jayne he may not have walked off with only a few scratches and a mostly successful trade. If he was honest with his own self he may not have walked away at all. What was it with border planets and ambushes!

"She wouldn't have let you go alone you know." River's voice floated through the doorway. "He may have stayed behind but he would have regretted it once the others explained, she would have had us follow as soon as you left."

"What are you doin' lurkin' about my ship at this hour." Mal grumbled, an unexpected fondness sneaking into his tone that surprised both participants in the conversation.

River gave him an incredulous look.

"Okay, I suppose given your warnin' and all you might have an interest in the events of today." Mal looked at the young girl before him, this wasn't the first time she had warned him of danger, she might be moon-brained but she was the luckiest thing his ship had come across in years. "How did you know to warn me?" Mal asked.

"How do we know anything?"River replied dreamily. "We listen, we look, we feel, we touch, we know. It's how you do them that's important."

"I suppose I should have been expectin' an answer along those lines." Mal shook his head; maybe under all those layers of crazy the girl had a better gut instinct than he did. It was possible that all those claims and stories his granny held to about the sight could have some truth deep enough in them.

Stories, Mal smiled to himself. Pictures of birds soared through his mind as memories of hot days and reading poems, line by line, time and again to his Ma entered his head. Course maybe the girl was just lucky, he couldn't deny that he'd missed havin' some of that in his life. That had to be it, I mean, who else in the verse would get a traumatized moon-brained teenager for a lucky charm.

"If you mighten mind, River, I do believe I'll take your good brother's advice and get a mite bit of rest." Mal said already starting to lie back on the bed, too tired to make the short trek to his bunk after the day's events.

"Sleep well Captain and thank you." River said starting to turn away from the med bay.

"Thank you?" Mal yawned, already falling asleep.

"I've always found birds fascinating, especially the albatross, I like the comparison very much." She said dancing off towards the bridge before Mal could stop her.


End file.
